Thursday, February 23, 2006

depression welcomes me to its world where i lay dead.. i lay dead from all the troubles inside of me.. as it all twirls around the empty space.. i see its blurred vision of all the pain and anguish that has haunted me all this while.. dare i smile? dare i smirk? with the pleasure of emptiness and nothingness that fills me now.. what do i have now? whats left for me in this mixed up world where nothing is what it seems and anything could happen within the blink of an eye..

that remains to be the reason why after so long i havent batted an eyelid.. im afraid and shudder at the thought of things changing with the accidental blink that could happen anytime now.. pls let me stay awake.. leave my eyes wide open for the taking.. keep all the dusts away.. away from my watchful eye.. i pry it up into a wide circle surrounding the place with my vision.. but for how much longer.. i noe one day it will come.. one day i will have to blink and the inevitable will happen..

why? why must it happen i keep on asking myself.. yet my efforts were fruitless.. i noe it too yet i continued.. i have no answers available.. i am of no use.. i feel so helpless yet refuses help.. im tired.. im awfully drained.. i will fall one of this day and im afraid its not going to be a soft landing awaiting me.. ill fall and will fall hard.. when im awake everything will be different.. i will be different.. will i remember then what has ensued.. what has happened while i remain oblivious to the world.. i will suffer like i always do.. and the beauty of it all.. i suffer alone..

posted by: mfirdie @ 4:55 AM

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