Friday, March 17, 2006

i am not normal..

at least i dun think i am in anyways.. the ever so often response i get from everyone would be "You're crazy.." well in some ways yes of cos i dun deny that.. crazee in certain ways certainly and everyone becomes crazee at one point or another.. from the very start i had always have the uncanny feeling that im not normal.. i dun do things ppl normally do, i dun think the way ppl do and i do things a whole lot different than the others.. im a more exquisite kind of being where i cease to be different than anyone else.. one look at me and u wont like me.. onli till u speak to me when the smiles comes out and the infamous lameness spread through where the likeable me will come about.. i dunno i guess i have e obnoxious look.. everyone says so..

im not friendly although deemed to be.. neither am i an extrovert even tho claimed to be.. im onli outspoken in a room full of ppl i noe and in others im as meek as a mouse.. im not brave as ppl claim me to be and even tho im happie with a bunch of ppl at my side, more often than not i choose to hide in my own personal corner and reminisce about my life.. this life im living what i went through and what i want to do.. so today on a practical dae of 17th march.. my 1st ever gf birthday.. i choose to tell u a lil bit more abt me that u wont noe or maybe have not heard of.. a lil glimpse into the life of mfirdie.. one whom u call fir, feer, daus and all the rest..

todae it came again my indigenous thought.. wy am i living in Singapore.. was i literally put here.. think about it of all places in the world, why Singapore.. that does not stop there too.. will go ahead to think about why Singapore, why Clementi, why this family, why this why that.. i have a lot of questions in my head at all times and ppl do get tired of answering them.. or the way i see it prefer me not to noe.. i feel that im being put here.. i feel that im not supposed to be here.. im under surveillance, im a test subject and everyone noes except for me.. wishful thinking eh? well but thats me.. whenever im alone and stuffs i look around trying to find that "hidden camera".. wondering.. constantly wondering.. i always imagine that behind those walls were actually empty or perhaps they were discussing scenes, putting make up.. u noe all the extras in my life.. well all e sacrifices they have to go thru in terms of acting as someone close to me and stuffs.. pretty much entertainment huh? celebrated test subject.. i dunno thats the way i think..

mfirdie is pretty.. pretty-weird if u ask me..
Hey you.. stop watching me..

posted by: mfirdie @ 12:51 AM

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