Friday, March 20, 2009

loser in life

i lay awake tonight wondering if ive wasted my life away waiting on the wrong girl.. bits and pieces follow to the events and certainly i know if i had not known before that things have change and people change and i find myself asking a question if this is the kind of life i want to lead.. i tend to do things that my heart feels right and thats the problem when u dun use ur head.. ur heart's onli function is to pump blood to keep u alive but on the other hand it can also stop and kill u.. so heed this advice, trusting ur heart can onli lead to 2 things life and death..

i wonder where i stand.. i wonder if i have just found the meaning of life or am i starting to fade away and die.. i have decided to sit out this night juz making sure i stay alive.. my heart feels heavy and i dun feel safe.. i feel vulnerable i feel wasteful and yet whos willing to lend a listening ear.. nobody i guess at this ungodly hour.. as i sit alone in front of the screen typing my life story and perhaps at the end i can find a solution although i know a solution is not what i am looking for.. its juz simply an answer to a question which yet can be answered..

have i lost in life, have i wasted my life for somebody else.. is my life lived for somebody else and why have i done that.. why have i not realli did things for myself.. how could i have lived a life pitting someone as more important than myself.. why have i loved someone than i love myself.. what have i done wrong and what kind of thinking have i conjured up.. how can i make this stop and can i make this stop.. and i guess if only GOD can talk to me, i will ask " What do i do now? " i will have trust in his answer cos i know at the very least, he will take care of me..

somebody talk to me..

posted by: mfirdie @ 11:53 AM

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